i wish you were coming. i know it may be selfish but i wish you were coming with me. with us.
I’ve taken time away from my work to go on holidays with you and all of your friends, and yet you can’t do the same. It wasn’t the highest thing to do on my list of things but i did because it made you happy. it’s just a bonus that i became better friends with your friends.
I know it’s selfish and you’ll feel guilty. but think about how much i give up when you want to hang with friends instead of a plan we may have made for just us or whatever. You saying that makes me feel like i’m the second choice, as if alone time with me isn’t as good as seeing all of your friends. I compromise because it makes you happy, but where’s my compromise?
i need to feel like my friends and friendships matter to you too, like you want to be involved with the people I hold closest. I’ve put in a fair amount of effort so you’re happy that i’m good mates with most of them, put in some effort to become good mates with mine. It would make me feel so over the moon happy.
I also find it genuinely sad that i’ve hung out with your mates more than i can count, yet when it’s me and my best friend i can count it on one hand.
i know it seems mean and i’m being hurtful but i had to get it out.
Middle of exam period. Boss was a dick. Mum was a twat. Boy is away and barely in contact when I desperately needs cuddles and conversation. And all I’m doing is stalking a bitch and getting ever more angry because oh she’s pretty oh she’s fucking so special, fucking fuck off. Want to end the cunt.